Conspiracy fact

"They're out to get us", I blurted to no one in particular, more like a frustrated utterance than a statement of fact.
"Why in the hell..... oh never mind" I wanted to throw my screwdriver- I didn't. I briefly entertained the idea of digging out my dremel with an ultra thin little cut-off wheel, and cutting a slot in the top of this screw to accomodate the idiots that came up with this ... stupid new type of fastener that wouldn't accept a normal driver??? Welcome to Capitalism- it's the American way!
Being a radical die-hard do- it- yourselfer I've painfully watched as our dignity, our source of esteem has been eroded, no, make that stripped away, vandalized- our only power against the corporations nullified. I refuse to bow down- roll over and play dead before this juggernaut that insists I not repair my appliances; but buy new ones- forget it!
I first experienced in a real and personal way their greed when I bought a new leaf blower about ten years ago. Being the ever inquisitive tweaker I am I partly disassembled it before even starting it; curious about the inner workings. "What the...?" Dumbfounded- the realization slowly sunk in as I liberated the flimsy Japanese carburetor from it's mating surface on the side of the cylinder. There it was; a deliberate gap in the gasket. Defect?Accident? Engineered that way? Of course- a small leak would allow a trickle of debris to march slowly in, like an invading army plundering and looting and compromising the integrity of the cylinder wall, robbing it of it's ability to function in it's delicate dance of compression; prematurely aging and wearing, gouging and ruination- but not so rapid that it would be dealt with in a warrantee type of environment- but cutting short it's life on the premise of our reinvesting our resources to purchase anew- for their profit margin!! Nefarious!
As time passed I became aware of strange new slots and depressions in the heads of screws, fasteners from hell that demanded uncommon, eclectic types of tools, and then inevitably the coup-de-grace; no fasteners- but plastic molded and melted together making disassembly impossible without forcibly breaking it apart! Knaves!!
Being known as a MacGuyver-ish, handyman type, able to fix almost anything- my way of life; rather, my very purpose for being was disintegrating. I felt violated. One of the simple pleasures in my life- browsing the hardware store (like a kid in a candy shop) was starting to feel like a bad dream, like mockery; the thing I enjoyed so much became a thing I loved to hate. Why is it that we have to have standard and metric sizes of bolts? Why are there different threads on water pipe, gas pipe, compressed air fittings, electrical conduit fittings, even a hose thread is just slightly different. They can all be the same size, but just a litlle bit off- just enough to make interchanging them impossible!. I think that when the Toro irrigation supply co. came out with their own brand of sprinkler hose, (called it "funny pipe"- yeah, I'll say something is funny) about the same general size- but off enough so that you couldn't use any of the competition's fittings, you had to buy the Toro fittings only- was the last straw for me. I started getting into computers.
Nowadays my beef is with AOL- they've interrupted me three times just while writing this blog. " Do you want to continue to stay online?" WTF ? I'm in the middle of a letter- how'm I supposed to post it if not online? And why do you keep sending my favorite newsletters into the spam folder where I have to go searching for them?
I applied for my own domain name through AOL-- Bombgardener@doesitbest.com. Cool- has a nice ring to it! Does it best! But sure enough when I try to read my mail I get redirected through all this hogwash, and get this: superimposed over the sign in button there's a link for some advertising bull***, I can't even hit the damn sign in button??!!
I hit the enter key instead. As my mailbox opens there is this huge sideways emoticon. It's winking at me!